Myths and stereotypes surrounding the sexuality of people with disabilities

Our research “ Sexuality and parenthood of people with mobility disabilities ” highlights the social exclusion and stigmatization of people with disabilities . Over one third (36%) of the respondents experienced a situation in which they heard that the topic of sex or even sexuality in connection with his/her disability does not concern him/her and is not something he/she should be interested in. Women experienced this more often. The respondents heard such statements mainly from people from their close circle. Almost half (44%) heard such words from a family member, and then from an acquaintance, friend, or partner.

The social beliefs that a successful sexual life for people with disabilities does not exist , that their lives are focused on this one feature, and that the sexuality of people with disabilities is a taboo subject, are still relevant. The attitudes we adopt towards our own attractiveness and our sexual needs are shaped by all these social beliefs and stereotypes, which is why, as part of the Sekson project, we show that disability is not at all a prism through which these people assess the quality of their sexual life.

Stereotypes around partnerships, relationships, and parenthood for people with disabilities are still very present. Social expectations are imposed on what such a happy and successful relationship should look like – people with disabilities, when faced with such stereotypes, begin to face the conviction that they will never be able to create such a happy relationship.

Let's remember that everyone has sexuality and this sexuality is independent of disability . It is connected for all of us with the need for closeness, experiencing touch, intimacy, pleasure, orgasm . These needs are not conditioned by whether we experience a disability or not.

This is perfectly summed up by the words of sexologist Alicja Długołęcka:

"Our basic sexual organ is the brain!", which repeatedly emphasizes how impressive and uplifting it is that "people with physical disabilities are most often more aware of their bodies and more focused on discovering their sexual secrets."

Disability, therefore, does not make sexual needs disappear; it only involves the need to modify their fulfillment.

A very important issue in the context of sex is also that sexual activity is a great form of physical rehabilitation for people with disabilities , because it reduces the level of stress and tension in the body. What's more, the results of the study showed how much interest people with disabilities have in the subject of sex and seek information on how to fulfill their sexual needs. This also promotes positive communication and openness in relationships.

"People with disabilities should not have children because they could pass on their illness to them."

“A person with a disability will never be as good a parent as an able-bodied person.”

In order to break these current stereotypes, it is necessary to normalize disability and its perception in the social, cultural and public space . Research has shown how strongly disability and how it is perceived socially are connected with such an individual attitude to one's own disability. This social exclusion often makes it difficult, or even prevents, people with disabilities from participating in social life.

Living with myths and painful stereotypes increases the sense of alienation and otherness. Anxiety and fear often become dominant and make it very difficult for people with disabilities to open up to new relationships, about sexuality or having children. We all know how important and crucial the community in which we grow up and function is in the context of shaping our identity and accepting it. Myths and stereotypes also lead to the phenomenon of infantilization of women and men with disabilities and the stigmatization of otherness.

Stereotypical perceptions have shaped two images of disability that function in society today: a person with a disability as a victim or a hero. A "victim" is someone who arouses pity, requires support, and is not independent . Partners of people with disabilities also face pity, often encountering social reluctance, misunderstanding, and surprise. This is accompanied by words such as "otherness" and "being worse." Stereotypes and myths, in addition to directly affecting people with disabilities, additionally harm their closest environment, resulting in withdrawal and exclusion from social and societal life. A "hero," on the other hand, is a character who copes with their disability without significant problems, and is also successful in some area of ​​their life, and this is socially perceived as heroism, evoking emotion, admiration, and care .

Lack of knowledge and social contact with various types of disabilities makes it difficult to develop and acquire a neutral attitude towards people with disabilities. Language is also a difficulty , because it is an image of our prejudices or false beliefs resulting from lack of knowledge. "Invalid, underdeveloped, deaf, blind" - these are forms that we can still hear. Remember that inclusive and non-discriminatory language focuses on the person, not their disability, so the desired forms are a person with a disability: sight, hearing, movement, a person with visual impairment/hearing impairment. See the text on language towards people with disabilities .

In Poland, disability is still a taboo subject, causing social discomfort or uncertainty about how to behave towards someone experiencing a disability. Recently, however, we have seen a shift towards reliable, non-politicized sexual education , which unfortunately still functions as grassroots activities, not systemic. However, this slowly occurring positive change in this area is pleasing. For every person, their sexual needs are important, but so is the acceptance of their immediate environment, which is why people with disabilities value openness and readiness to talk about sexuality. Satisfaction with one's own sexual life, understanding and appreciating one's sexuality are factors that significantly affect our mental health.

Functioning in a specific cultural and social context means that we are all saturated with the current narrative. We are trying to change this narrative as part of the Sekson project . We want each of us to be able to create such a conviction-free, non-discriminatory, and equal narrative about ourselves, which is why as part of the Sekson project we are giving a voice to people with disabilities.

Also read our other texts as part of the Sekson x Your KAYA collaboration:

About the Accessibility Map and the adaptation of medical services to OzN

How to talk well about disability?