The birth of a child. At the start, the little one gets stuffed animals, balloons, everything that is hygge, eco and – in short – premium. There are really plenty of ideas for the perfect gift for a baby. And the mother? What to buy, what will be useful? What are the dream gifts for a new MOTHER?
Yes, health. Yes, time for yourself. Yes, sleep. Yes, comfort between your legs and everywhere else. Yes, a tumble dryer for your home that also makes strong but delicious coffee from freshly roasted beans. Yes, a pill for all possible pains for every mother after childbirth. Yes, a tablet that tells a mother why her baby is crying this time.
Brilliant ideas. Unfortunately, it's probably hard to give all of this to someone…
How to approach the topic so that the gift for a young mother is as close to ideal as possible?
When I was looking for an answer to this question myself, without any experience or even familiarity, the internet mainly suggested pram bags and things like personalized jewelry with a child motif or a drop of breast milk enclosed (yes, that really exists!). However, this gift idea seemed sentimental to me and still focused more on the child than on providing the young mother with pleasure. I was looking for something like a spa voucher for mom, and the only gifts I was given were: "From now on, don't even dare forget for a moment that you're a mom! And no spa for mom, you've gone crazy!" Meh. Not only is it unfair, it's also hurtful, because a gift for mom, but still for a child, can reinforce the feeling that being a mom is the only thing that should matter from now on - and if it's not, maybe something is wrong? This is an absolutely wrong assumption.
Today, once again, I am getting ready to take part in the GIFTS FOR YOUNG MOTHER campaign.
To approach this professionally, you need to break down the mother into its prime factors. Obviously, no two people are the same, but out of laziness, I will single out only three types of mothers and – well – you have to fit the person you are gifting into one of these pigeonholes. As usual, everything is tongue-in-cheek, but I think I will help you choose a gift at least a little and no one will be doomed to buy a diaper cake (oh, the horror!).
To the point.
Type One: MOM AT THE POSITION
Contrary to appearances, the last thing this young mother needs are handcuffs (badum-tsss). She definitely doesn't like leaving her comfort zone, which is home. She is extremely focused on her child and extremely tired - despite this, leaving going out alone only in the realm of dreams. She likes to sleep with her child, clean up a bit, and when she has more energy - take a shower and invite a friend or sister over. There will be time for going out, now every moment must be devoted to regeneration.
What would be the perfect gift for a young mother in this case? FOOD!!! I think that such a mother would certainly be happy with anything that there is a lot of. It would be best if it could be frozen or preserved (treasures for later!). Or maybe a meal ticket would come in handy? I definitely recommend this idea!
You can also give such a mother a handmade voucher for your time :) For example, for an hour during which you wash dishes, vacuum or iron. I think that the best gift will also be anything that is comfortable (and invaluable after giving birth): panties, tracksuits, a blouse for breastfeeding, a good thermos or a thermos mug for hot coffee, even during an incredibly long walk.
Type two: THE CRAZY MOTHER
As with the first type, this young mother is focused on her child to the max, except that if she doesn't let off steam fairly regularly, her lid starts to bounce a little :) So she'll fight like a lioness for the opportunity to get out of the house even for half an hour - to the shop down the street or even for a walk around the estate. This young mother doesn't need food in jars, but rather to be taken out for food. Or for a massage. Nails. To the hairdresser. Anywhere! Just to get out of the house, to free her mind and hands from the children.
So in this case, a good gift idea for a young mother would be passes for all treatments or – similarly to the above – a voucher for your time, but you will spend it taking care of the child. In the meantime, the mother will conquer the world or go on a date. It can also be some ethereal underwear, pajamas or a dressing gown, so that at least at night she feels like a human being, and not a servant of a little human being. Don't get me wrong – the expression "crazy" is not offensive or judgmental here. Seriously, there is nothing extraordinary in the fact that the brain wants to free itself from time to time or reset a bit. It is better to have your mental health under control and provide yourself with the strength to go crazy with your children than to actually go crazy!
Type three: MOTHER-NOT-MOTHER
Someone who likes to switch from one mode to another, while maintaining incredible comfort. The key to success in this type of case is to simplify your life. This young mother likes to be close to her child, especially since going out alone is logistically complicated, but somewhere in all this she tries to take care of herself and satisfy her needs at a decent level.
What to give a young mother as a gift? Anything that can be delivered to your home will be great: food, massage, eyebrow shaping, manicure or pedicure. From more advanced and specific ideas: a home newborn session. Or maybe this mother would like a day with an extra pair of hands at her disposal? Then you can spend the whole day under one roof, combining business with pleasure, just like it used to be done in the so-called villages, i.e. large communities, where people organized their free time together and took care of each other, while also taking care of the children :)
What to give a young mother? The perfect solution
There is only one universal gift. Regardless of the type of mother, weather conditions, hormone levels. It is buying a consultation with a urogynecological physiotherapist or – even better – a general check-up with cytology and breast examination. And providing care for the child during the visit, of course!
Flowers are an equally great gift idea for a young mother. Before the child grows up and becomes an ubiquitous explorer, ready for even the craziest experiments, it is worth enjoying the sight of fresh flowers, for now not seeing them as a potential disaster that will not be covered by insurance.
Imagination vs. reality
What kind of mother was I? It depends on which child! :) Even before my first child was born, I asked my friends and family for a spa pass and body care products, i.e. good, natural cosmetics, so that I could take care of myself after the baby went to bed. I also asked for a nursing pillow and books for parents (oh, how I will read!), as well as albums and "baby books" (something where you post entries, photos, thoughts from the pregnancy and usually the first year of the child's life). And while I was still pregnant, I asked both of my grandmothers for frequent overnight visits to watch the baby while I could go for a walk (or anywhere) and rest. After the baby was born, I wanted to prove to myself at all costs that it did not limit me at all. I tried to maintain my care rituals, I made arrangements with friends to still "go out in public". Unfortunately, it quickly turned out that it was not for me. Every time I left the house, it was very stressful, complicated to organize, and usually ended in a complete disaster, which was nothing like my original vision. I was facing my new reality, learning how to plan everything from scratch, and the robes, massage candles, books, and cosmetics I had received were simply put aside for a good few months.
With my second child, I approached the subject differently. I asked everyone who was wondering about a gift for food. Any kind, even fruit or dumplings bought in the supermarket, so that I wouldn't have to bother with cooking while learning to live with two children. On the other hand, when I was pregnant, I gave myself a lot of V-neck t-shirts (ideal for breastfeeding!), a thermos mug with a supply of my favorite coffee, comfortable underwear for the period after giving birth, and a massager. From the father of the child, I received a bouquet of flowers and... a new dress for the first date, when the time comes. I have to admit that I liked the idea and the prospect of changing my breastfeeding clothes for something very feminine one day!
So if you are planning to give a gift to someone close to you, first think about what will work best for that person. I think you can wait until the baby is born to make a purchase – and only then read the actual needs of the person concerned. It is impossible to assess in advance how a given person will find their way in motherhood and what strategy they will choose after giving birth. After all, we do not want to come up with a gift such as a shirt, a dress or even a nursing pillow for a mother who, for some reason, decides not to breastfeed at all. What is important, especially at the beginning of the parenting journey, is to ensure that you are close, so that the young mother can be sure that there are people around her who are ready to help. I was lucky to be in a fairly solid support group and more than once or twice I happened to call a more experienced mother in the middle of the night to dispel doubts or just to vent. And then I would answer such calls myself. Being there for yourself is the best and most beautiful gift.
Have we forgotten anyone?
For all those who were not convinced by this post and need gift ideas for a new father, I recommend a text that will be published soon: what to give and what not to give to the guardian of a small herd :)
Created at: 06/08/2022
Updated at: 15/08/2022
