New Year's Resolutions – Do They Even Make Sense?

The Christmas atmosphere is passing, the shops are starting to have post-holiday sales, I wonder if and if so, where and with whom to go on New Year's Eve and how it happened that the last year went by so quickly. After all, I had just written down my resolutions on my phone: to drink less alcohol, write a lot of my master's thesis and learn to make pickles. Meanwhile, at the beginning of December (allegedly sobering up) after a beer with friends, I fell off my scooter and broke the bones in my face, and when I get an email from my supervisor, I panic. Do I have to mention that I had completely forgotten about pickles?

Fortunately, for a few years now, I have been treating resolutions as goals that are not necessarily to be achieved this year. It would be nice if everything in life went according to plan, but sometimes life far exceeds this plan. At the beginning of this year, I could not have imagined that I would change my job to such a wonderful one as contact with Your KAYA clients and that I would catch another pleasant assignment to do after work, which would additionally improve my budget. I also did not think that the fifth semester of studies with an internship would surprise me with a schedule covering almost every weekend for 3 months and that somehow, despite all this madness, I would still find time to meet someone. But even if life went on like it did a year ago, would I really manage to fulfill all my plans?

My list of resolutions and the approach to them has changed over the years. I haven’t always felt that the resolutions were really “mine”. I wanted to finally learn how to put on make-up, be more physically active, lose the fat from my thighs and belly. Those who know me will probably laugh at this “fat” because even the nurses at the hospital suggest that I look underweight. It took me much longer than a year to realize that the fat on my thighs and belly doesn’t have to bother me, that I don’t have to put on make-up (or a bra) even to go to a wedding, and that physical activity should be fun above all, and that forced exercise won’t necessarily be good for your health.

It is not at all easy to distinguish which resolution results from our needs and which from what seems to be our desires, but is in fact rather a projection of the expectations of others. A projection, because these do not even have to be the real expectations of a partner, friends, family, university or employer, just the fact that it seems to us that someone expects something from us. That you will lose/gain weight, that you will give up alcohol/cigarettes/meat, that you will take care of make-up and elegant clothing, that you will not be late with handing in your master's thesis or that you will learn a new language.

Sure, sometimes someone really does expect something from you: your parents, that you look and act the way they want you to, your partner, that you spend more time together, your doctor, that you lose or gain weight or give up drugs, your supervisor, that you stick to deadlines. Some of these expectations are certainly for your own good, or at least for your relationship with them, but are they all?

Is looking good enough for your mother to approve of your appearance really a priority in your life? Is learning how to apply make-up essential for you? Does cellulite on your thighs really make your life harder? Is a delay in writing your master's thesis a disgrace? Is it a good idea to quit smoking or drinking alcohol right before a stressful exam session? And with a million plans, will you have enough time to learn a language?

I guarantee that the answer to many similar questions about the point of resolutions is, “No, not necessarily.” You don’t need to impose a certain appearance or behavioral pattern on yourself, turning in your thesis after the first deadline probably won’t ruin your life, and you can calmly plan to cut back on cigarettes, alcohol, and unhealthy foods instead of forbidding yourself from one day to the next.

All of this may sound like I think that New Year's resolutions are pointless and that it's not worth imposing such restrictions on yourself. However, my opinion on this subject is closer to the statement that the times we live in mean that we don't have it easy anyway (all year long). In the media, we mainly see unnaturally beautiful people (this is only slowly starting to change), on Facebook and Instagram, friends brag about their diplomas, small children, foreign trips or lunches from vegan restaurants. Since you are surrounded by only wonderful news, you may feel like you can't keep up, because everyone is more beautiful than you, graduates on time, builds a career, gets married, and on top of that, they have time and money to go to Thailand and are certainly in great mental condition. Only you are left behind and you need to finally start going to the gym regularly, start psychotherapy, find a partner, stop eating at fast food and smoking cigarettes, and then you will definitely be satisfied with your life.

I totally support physical activity, healthy eating, taking care of yourself and finding valuable relationships! But is the fact that I still don't look like a Hollywood star, I don't feel like exercising regularly, I haven't cut dairy out of my diet and I haven't written my master's thesis a good reason to spend the end of the year feeling down that I haven't managed to do so many things this year, promising myself that I'll manage much more next year? Wouldn't it be better to allow yourself to be imperfect, mentally pat yourself on the head and say: "This year wasn't easy at all, but you did it!"?

Maybe, as usual, I didn't manage to fulfill my resolutions, but since January 1st, the app has reminded me every evening to write down what I'm grateful for today. I didn't manage to do it every day, the app registered slightly over 300 notes, but on New Year's Eve I'll gladly go through them all in order. Because wouldn't it be better to focus on what good things happened this year, instead of worrying that I failed to fulfill a few resolutions again?

So if you decide to make a New Year's resolution, I hope it's as body-positive and understanding as possible, and that you have a deep conviction that you really want to follow through on it for your own good. Good luck!

The whole Your KAYA team wishes you a wonderful year! 🎆🍾🥂