Splitting hairs. Is hair normalization necessary?

The Story of an Experiment

In conversations on this topic, I usually tell an anecdote from a few years ago, when I was living in London. I was riding the tube to work when a gorgeous woman sat down in the seat opposite me, dressed very elegantly, as if for a business meeting. I admired her style for a moment, then noticed that she had leg hair under her tights. And not the kind of millimeter-thick hair that was barely visible, but quite long and dark. I quickly looked away as if I had seen something forbidden, feeling a mixture of fascination, shock, reluctance, and admiration.

At that point I was already somewhat familiar with the concept of body positivity and was trying to combat the judgmental attitudes towards my body that still often resonated with me. Because of that, I was surprised by my own intense and negative reaction. I started thinking about it and it dawned on me that this was the first time in my life that I had seen a woman with full leg hair in person. I was 19. At that point I had been shaving most of my body hair for about 6 years and had never, even for a moment, stopped to ask myself why I was doing it or if I even wanted to.

The whole situation made a huge impression on me and I spent many months thinking about it. Around the same time, I found an Instagram account that shared photos of very different bodies, including unshaven ones. I gradually became so used to the sight that I decided to not shave for a month as an experiment. I decided that only by experiencing my body with hair would I be able to make a conscious decision about whether or not I wanted to remove my hair. That was about 3 years ago, and the “experiment” is still ongoing – recently, when I moved house, I found the razors I had put away at the bottom of a drawer.

Times are changing

Almost everyone has heard stories about our grandmothers, aunts, and maybe even mothers not removing their hair, and in their day it was not popular. Meanwhile, most people now in their twenties started shaving in middle school. I also recently realized how many people with pussies shave their private parts (despite the clear voices of doctors that hair is a protective barrier) and I was surprised that those who don't are in the minority. In addition, I have the impression that this is affecting younger and younger people - some time ago I saw a debate on breakfast television about whether parents should let 10-year-old girls shave.

On the other hand, however, there is an increasingly strong representation of people who oppose the "cult of the smooth body" and reveal unshaven legs or armpits (although for now we see them mainly on the Internet, less often in real life). This image of a woman has slowly begun to enter the mainstream: just remember how many celebrities allow themselves to be photographed with armpit hair (for example Miley Cyrus, Bella Thorne, Paris Jackson, Lourdes Leon).

By becoming familiar with such a sight, we teach younger generations that hair removal is their choice, not a rigid rule that cannot be argued with. Of course, people who decide to swim against the current expose themselves to criticism and frowns (at best, and at worst – to constant hate, threats and violence). So one might be tempted to say that such a decision requires a certain amount of courage and self-confidence. It is also sometimes treated as a feminist protest or an ideological statement . However, the way other people's bodies look does not affect us in any way. So why do we always find a lot of negative comments under photos of women with visible body hair?

Why does an innocent armpit hair arouse such aggression?

I believe that the so-called male gaze plays an important role here , i.e. perceiving women's bodies (and evaluating them) through the prism of whether they meet the criteria of attractiveness to men. Those who consciously reject this pattern are perceived as unfeminine, frustrated, aggressive, unworthy of any man's attention, and often even simple respect. However, they are often attacked not only by men, but also by other women. This may result from a sense of injustice and lack of understanding. If we have been removing body hair for years, which involves expense, a lot of time, pain or even inflammation, it is difficult for us to accept that someone completely rejects these expectations and feels good about themselves. If we put so much effort into something that is supposed to guarantee that we will be desirable and attractive, and another woman claims that she feels beautiful and attractive without it - in a way, she is telling us that our effort and pain are wasted and unnecessary. It is understandable that we feel angry in such a situation. But we shouldn't direct it towards other women: we all live in a patriarchal system and we try to cope as best we can.

Another reason for negative reactions and hate is the omnipresent objectification of women's bodies in our culture, which are supposed to meet our aesthetic expectations. A woman has to "earn" to be treated with respect by adjusting her body to the canons of beauty. Of course, this phenomenon applies to many other aspects, but I think that this is exactly what is behind comments like: "don't go out like that, you'll scare the children", "everyone can do whatever they want with their body, but unfortunately for most people it is not an aesthetic sight". Why do so many people feel that they have the right to say what they think about the body of a complete stranger and that this person should take their opinions into account?

Hygiene

Under such photos, there are always comments like: "I have nothing against it, but hair is still unhygienic" or "I wouldn't want to be next to this person on a bus in the summer". So let's make it clear once and for all that if hair were really a breeding ground for bacteria and dirt, shaving the head would most likely be the norm. And assuming that, for example, hairy armpits sweat more than hairless ones, we should probably require men to remove this hair just as rigorously as we require women to do so.

But seriously: there are no studies that unequivocally confirm that we sweat more this way. I know people who will say that this is what they have experienced, but I also know people who had the exact opposite (that was my experience). However, it is known that if we want to avoid unpleasant odor, the best solution is deodorant (it also works on hairy armpits, I checked!).

What about pubic hair? Any gynecologist will confirm that it protects against bacteria and infections. In addition, the skin in this area is thin and sensitive, so it is easy to irritate and cut. If we decide to get rid of this hair, we should make sure that we are doing it for ourselves and not, for example, for our partner, who does not want to accept the fact that adult women have pubic hair and prefers that we remove it at all costs, even if it causes pain and discomfort.

Is body hair a protest?

I have already mentioned that women's body hair is often treated as something political or ideological, not a personal preference. Is there any way to escape it? At the moment, I don't think so. In a way, it means a constant struggle – either with patriarchy, for our subjectivity and the right to decide about our bodies, or with ourselves, when we want to relax on the beach, but we don't know if someone will give us a dirty look and ruin our nice day. Sometimes it seems that it would be much easier to shave that hair and have peace of mind. The constant guessing (for example, are we going out with friends who won't notice our hair, so it's OK to wear a tank top, or is it better to wear something "safe"?) is tiring, frustrating, and clearly highlights the double standards in society.

That is why it is worth being empathetic and not rolling your eyes when, for example, a panicked friend tells us that she won't have time to make an appointment for a hair removal before her trip, and her bikini is low-cut and she can't show up on the beach like that. Each of us tries to find the golden mean between fitting into the norms and requirements placed before us and maintaining our distinctiveness, subjectivity and individual choices. Not all women are on the path to self-acceptance and we should be understanding of people who are in a different place (or on a completely different path) than us.

Hair, feminism

Of course, it is also worth mentioning that if you like having smooth legs and do not intend to stop shaving them, you are neither a hypocrite nor a worse feminist and you have every right to be. I only encourage you to look at your preferences and sometimes question them. It is also worth noting that our experiences, upbringing and a number of other factors influence all of our opinions and preferences (which do not exist in a vacuum, but in a society that imposes certain roles on us).

Normalizing female body hair is not the most important step in overthrowing patriarchy, but it is necessary. It is easy to say, “it’s just hair, there are more important issues,” but after a deeper analysis of the topic, you can see connections with other phenomena. In reality, this whole discussion comes down to one conclusion: women should be able to freely decide about their bodies without exposing themselves to unwanted comments or violence. Leaving the house with unshaven legs probably won’t be considered a particularly heroic act, but there is a chance that a 12-year-old girl will see us on such a walk and subconsciously encode the message that it is okay. Perhaps her daughter will grow up in a world where she goes to the beach without even thinking about whether or not she shaved . And I think we can all agree that this vision is worth fighting for.