Menarche, or the first period in a pill

There is still a harmful taboo surrounding menstruation, and we are left reeling from ads for pads and tampons, where smiling women in flowing white dresses bleed blue. Despite the fact that the media is increasingly full of optimistic signals about breaking the taboo (such as the #MensTRUEacja campaign ), in the privacy of our homes, we are still reluctant to start a dialogue with our children about menstruation. So many questions, so few answers – especially before that first bleeding occurs.

Menarche Without Secrets - What Does the First Period Look Like?

The appearance of the first period is the moment of reaching sexual maturity - the body then gives a signal that it is prepared for a possible pregnancy. During the menstrual cycle, the uterine lining builds additional layers to allow for the reception and development of a fertilized embryo. The entire process takes place with the participation of hormones (including estrogen and progesterone, the so-called female hormones), the levels of which are constantly changing at this time, which affects the well-being and appearance of the skin. If fertilization does not occur, the body, under the influence of hormones, gets rid of the extra layers from the uterus - this means that the lining peels off, and then vaginal bleeding occurs. The first day of menstruation is also the first day of a new cycle, and the bleeding itself lasts on average from 3 to 6 days, after which there is still sometimes slight spotting. The entire cycle lasts until the next day of bleeding, which appears on average at least every 24 to 34 days.

The age of menarche depends on many environmental factors. Studies show that girls living in cities have their first period earlier than those living in the countryside. Genetic conditions and the general health of the body also have an impact. People with a lower body weight usually start menstruating later, as well as those who lead a very active, sporty lifestyle. Scientists have determined the so-called critical body mass needed for menarche to occur, which is about 46 kg for a height of 157 cm. As in nature - there is no clear answer to the question of when the first menstrual cycle can begin. There are also certain age frames, but they should be approached more tentatively. Based on research, it is assumed that the first period in people in our latitude usually appears between the ages of 12 and 16 (in Poland itself - between 12 and 14). It is preceded by a number of changes in the body - breasts enlarge, hips round out, pubic and armpit hair appears. A few months before the first period, a clear discharge from the vagina may appear. When the body is strong enough and prepared enough, the first period appears. It is believed that physiologically, puberty begins on average at the age of 8 - menstruation occurs about 4 years later, 2 to 3 years after reaching breast development at Tanner stage 4, which determines the stage of sexual development. Therefore, if there was no menstrual bleeding before the age of 16 or the first period appears alarmingly early compared to previous data, it is worth consulting a gynecologist. It is also worth remembering that the regularity of the cycle is established within the first 5-6 years of menstruation - the first periods do not occur at regular intervals and this does not mean that something is wrong in the body. It is important to mark in the calendar or in the app when the bleeding began, to monitor the breaks between them. If they start to worry, i.e. menstruation does not appear in every subsequent month - go to the doctor! It is worth consulting a specialist.

The first period in girls (and anyone with a uterus) is often unexpected, although the body can give subtle signs earlier that herald the menstrual cycle. Usually, these are the subtle symptoms of something known as Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) . The symptoms preceding the period are very individual and can vary from girl to girl and from person to person. Some may experience breast pain, a feeling of swelling due to water retention, weakness or a headache a few days before the first bleeding. Remember that this condition is not dangerous to health - it results from the previously mentioned changing levels of hormones, which are produced in the body's command center, the brain. Bleeding during the first period is more like spotting, and the discharge is not a bright red (and certainly not blue!), it is more brownish. The first period usually lasts shorter than each subsequent period - from 2 to 7 days.

And how will they notice?

An important issue related to the first (and every subsequent!) period is protection against leakage and intimate hygiene. One of the most stressful problems for many women (and people with a uterus) who have started menstruating is the fear of embarrassing stains. There is a whole range of available products that effectively block spotting and provide us with freshness and a sense of security. The first period in girls begins a wonderful time of body exploration, as well as learning about their own preferences in this area.

The most popular during the first bleeding are definitely pads - they are the easiest to apply, so they are ideal when girls (and all people who menstruate) are just getting to know their structure. Pads are attached to underwear using wings - sometimes one is enough, sometimes it is worth using several, so that during a heavier period you have freedom of movement and do not have to worry, for example, during physical exercise. They should be replaced every few hours, and then the intimate areas should be washed, preferably with a gentle gel designed for this purpose. As we already know, the first period is usually quite scanty and not much blood is shed during it, so a pad or panty liner will be the best choice for this time. It is always worth having a few in your backpack or purse just in case - especially since you cannot always predict the beginning of bleeding, and the first period may appear unannounced.

How to talk to your child about periods?

Since the topic of the first period is often treated as a stepmother, it is no wonder that young girls and all menstruating people may have a distorted image of this process and may not fully understand the symptoms and meaning of the entire period of puberty. For many women, the appearance of bleeding gives the label of "not having the time" and excludes them from participating in many activities. "Those days" (how I hate that name!) should not be an obstacle - of course, if we are not accompanied by any disturbing symptoms or pain at that time. It is important not to treat menstruation as an illness - on the contrary, it is a sign of the proper functioning of the body and its proper development in relation to age. Unfortunately, most of us have been stigmatized by the school corridor, which we quickly traversed with a sanitary pad camouflaged under our sleeves. That is why it is worth talking about your experiences and overcoming unnecessary anxiety and fear together.

American scientists conducted a study that proved that people with a uterus whose loved ones engaged in conversations about their first period had significantly better experiences and subsequent bleedings were not as stressful for them. The rest, when listing associations with the term "menstruation", used terms such as "trauma" and "shame". Blood evokes negative connotations, so it is not surprising that without a proper explanation, menstruation evokes a lot of anxiety and fear.

Unfortunately, many parents are afraid to start a conversation, out of shame or fear of not having enough substantive information. Simple and clear messages are the most effective - you don't have to have a long, philosophical discussion about menstruation! Sharing your own experiences and introducing the first period from the perspective of someone who has also experienced it or observed it in loved ones is valuable - this is the only necessary and absolutely sufficient knowledge at the beginning of this path :) If anything - you can use the cheat sheet above!

What are the symptoms of a period? Will there be a lot of blood? My breasts and stomach hurt, is that normal? - these are just some of the questions your child may ask you before their first period. What's more - you know the answer to each of them! Cast your mind back to the moment your first period started. Were you accompanied by the same concerns, symptoms or observations.

If you are the one starting this discussion, start with an open question - ask what your child knows about menstruation. The answers may surprise you! In the school hallway or playground, teenagers often try to find meaning and decipher new, unfamiliar issues on their own, so be understanding if the conclusions drawn on this topic are not completely true. This is your field of activity - the sooner you dispel these doubts, the more safety you will provide your adolescent comfort and protect her from unnecessary stress. Tell her about pads, tampons and evenings with a hot water bottle, or reach out to the sources available to you and explore them together. The most important thing is not to demonize this topic and not present it as a painful series of bloody days, but rather an opportunity for (for example) a lazy celebration under the blanket, with a bar of chocolate in hand :) Oh, and take your child to their first visit to the gynecologist !