My first period

To look at the topic of the first period from every angle, we asked our friends, internet creators, members of the #mensTRUEacja by Your KAYA group, as well as transgender and non-binary people, about their memories of it.

Our friendly internet creators:

ASIA OKUNIEWSKA - author of the podcasts "Tu Okuniewska" and "Me and my idiot friends"

My first period came unexpectedly, as it usually does, at the least expected moment. I was 12 and I was not prepared for it, nor was I one of those girls who couldn't wait for it - and I especially didn't want it on my first foreign trip with my parents! I counted down the days until that July, imagining myself among the Greek monuments, and in the travel agency catalog I circled a trip to a small hidden beach and talked my parents into it. It was supposed to be a GREAT DAY.

I remember I was almost ready to leave. Mom was packing towels into a big bag and Dad was fighting with the air conditioning. I heard the classic line "Has everyone peed?", which meant we had a long drive ahead of us, and the prospect of peeing on a rocking boat effectively motivated me to visit the bathroom.

So I went back to my room, AND THERE I WAS A SHOCK. What was going on? What was that red stain? What did it mean? Did I eat something bad? I was all hot and bothered by the thought of my only swimsuit having a big red mark on it. I was not happy. I was disappointed and sad!

I came out of the bathroom and told my mom that I thought I had my period. I still wasn't sure - we'd never really talked about it, but having an older sister, I knew what to expect.

Mom, however, rose to the occasion and went with me to the hotel shop. I had never been to THOSE shelves! They were laden with bright butterfly packaging, tampons were shining with colors like candy. Mom asked for quite large pads, and I didn't know then that there were others - thinner, lighter, more comfortable. I wanted to get back to bed as soon as possible, because I already knew that I wouldn't be soaking in the warm water of the Mediterranean Sea. It was a tragedy for me.

We set off on a trip and all I remember is the feeling of a huge pad warming my butt. I spent the trip on a blanket, in the shade, and watched other trippers enjoy the weather. The next morning, however, I woke up in white hotel sheets, leaving a stain on them. I was ashamed and angry. My first period surprised me and took away the pleasure of my vacation. I haven't forgotten it to this day! :D

Luckily, my next period came a few months later - when I had already realized that there were pads other than the huge ones and I started to get to know this new "phenomenon" for me. After a few months I knew what helped me soothe my stomach ache, I got to know the first signals my body sent a few days before they came. After a few months I also asked my dad for money for my first tampons - the ones with an applicator. And they changed my life! I regret that I didn't get them from my mom then. Who knows, maybe my sea dream would have come true then and the memories of my first period would have been completely different?

MARIA JANIEC - yoga teacher

My first period came when I was 12. I was in the school toilets and when I saw blood on my underwear, I froze and sat there for a good 10 minutes. But not out of fear. It was a strange mix of surprise and curiosity - so strong that the next few hours are a gap in my memory.

I borrowed a pad from a friend and we were happy that our periods started at the same time. The next thing I remember is talking to my mom in the evening. I don't know why now, but I didn't know how to tell her. Probably because periods were still a taboo subject at the time, but my mom's reaction was very tender and gentle.

Today, as I have teenage sisters in my family, this topic is a daily occurrence and I am glad that we support each other in this! We talk about menstrual products and write each other messages of support when the pain comes. Beautiful sisterhood!

DOMINIKA MAZUREK - on her profile she discusses topics related to mental health, feminism and literature

My friend was the first in our group to get her period before me. The girls and I had a lot of questions for her: what does the blood look like, does the bleeding hurt, how much of it is lost? Even though I had a good relationship with my mother, for some reason it was from her that I learned the most. I remember being very afraid that it would happen at school; that everyone would see, that I wouldn't know how to behave, that I would be wearing light-colored pants. Luckily, my period came during the holidays, on Sunday morning - as if I had prayed for it (laughter).

Members of the #mensTRUEacja by Your KAYA group:

JUSTINA

I was 13 years old, I was skiing with my dad. That day we went to the thermal pools, it was supposed to be great fun. When I was changing into my swimsuit, I noticed blood on my panties. I got lost and left the changing room, showed my dad the blood stain and - as it turned out - I couldn't swim in the pools. Dad took the lady at the reception out of pity to give us a refund for the pass, because such a womanly situation had occurred. We spent the next few days on the phone with my mom, who was giving instructions, because both dad and I had no idea what to do. We somehow managed, but I didn't ski much.

PAULINE

I was 12 years old, my mother talked openly with me and my sister about everything, so it would seem that I was prepared. I just didn't think that I would get my first period the day before a school trip abroad. I was terrified and desperate: how would I cope with it, what if there was a lot of blood, what if I felt bad, how could I hide this period from my friends who I would be in the room with? I remember convincing my mother that I should stay home, and she insisted that everything would be fine. And that I was terribly ashamed that she would tell my father.

Today I think about all of this as an adult, mature woman and I see that there was no such ordinary, feminine energy - those few words that it is not a shame, that I do not have to hide my period, there was no such womanly "rite of passage", taming the subject in such a way that I would not be ashamed that my body is maturing, but that I would feel part of this female circle. Today I look at menstruation as a sign of my health, fertility, a phenomenon of a certain cyclical nature. And I am not ashamed of anything, and to my 12-year-old self I would have said "hey, girl, your body is doing a good job, it is healthy and maturing. Don't be ashamed of it, enjoy being a woman"

Transgender and non-binary people:

KAJ - trans man

I am a trans man, I haven't had my period since I started taking hormones, for over 3 years now. It is one of my favorite changes, if not the most favorite. When I first got my period I was on vacation with my parents and brother. I was supposed to swim in the lake, walk in the forest and have fun, but instead I got a stomach ache, "girl talk" with my mother and hiding it from my brother. I didn't know then why all this caused me such emotional discomfort, I was not aware that I was trans and had gender dysphoria. Because of her every period from then on was a nightmare. Once I knew what transgender was and that I was a man, it became even harder. When I had to buy pads I felt humiliated. They were always pink or floral, in the section marked "women's products". I felt like everyone was staring at me every time, that they would definitely realize that I was trans because of what I was buying. I asked my mother to buy them for me. I wore the largest ones so I could change them as rarely as possible and pretend nothing was happening. My trans friends and I would escape into black humor, calling my period "Satan's waterfall."

I was lucky and was able to start my medical transition quite quickly, two years after coming out I got a prescription for hormones. After the first injection I didn't get another period and it's been like that for 3 years now. I remember menstruation quite traumaticly, I would never want to go through it again. I know that not all trans men have it as good as I do, some menstruate despite hormones, others don't have access to hormone therapy. I wish more was said about trans people who menstruate. Periods are an unnecessary taboo even among cis women, for trans people this experience is often many times more difficult.

BOGDAN - a non-binary person

Sixth grade of primary school. It didn't even hurt, although I felt some strange discomfort all day. The stains on my panties didn't look like blood at all and I think that's what scared me the most - I didn't tell anyone, I just thought "common sense" that it was probably my period and that I had to put on a pad. The next day I begged my mother not to have to go to school. And again the fear - so now I'll be like this for the rest of my life? I know that your profile is about "demystifying" menstruation, but even if I wanted to, I can't think about my period in a more human way. From the very beginning it made me feel that something was very wrong with my body. And unfortunately, I still have a problem accepting it as something normal, and I'm 19 and I've had my period since I was 12.

XAVIER - transgender person

My first period is horrible. I was at a camp and suddenly I started bleeding really hard. I ran to the counselors, but the only support and explanation I got from them was one pad and "yes, you have your period." I bled just as hard for a week, not to mention the immense pain. At this point, every period I have looks more or less the same, heavy bleeding, pain, and even vomiting.

My memories of puberty are mostly terrible. I started puberty much faster than other children, so there was no end to the jokes about my bra or bigger breasts. When I had to put on a bra, I cried, I didn't want it, but I was quite a chubby child, so according to my mother and even teachers, it was necessary. Every day I just wanted to take scissors and cut them off. I mainly wore very loose clothes to hide what I had on my chest as much as possible and to avoid jokes or even insults directed at me. When others started puberty, they compared the size of my breasts to mine, of course making fun of them. During WDŻ lessons, I was not explained what was happening to my body. At home, too. Unfortunately, I had to deal with the entire puberty on my own.