First visit to an online psychotherapist – practical tips

Maybe you've come here because you feel that you need psychotherapy - that you've found yourself in a crisis situation or that something has been wrong for a long time and you can't cope with it. On the one hand, you'd like to talk about your problem (or problems) with a specialist, on the other - you have some questions or maybe even concerns about your first visit.

You've come to the right place. I had similar difficulties not long ago .

Let’s clear up any doubts at the very beginning:

I am not a psychotherapist, I did not complete studies in this field. However, when I was making my first appointment with a psychotherapist, I was full of emotions, questions and doubts – and this was mainly due to the fact that I simply had no idea what to expect…

• What is the first visit like?
• Should I prepare somehow?
• Maybe there are some specific questions I will need to answer?
• And… what are my expectations exactly?

So treat this text as a conversation with a friend who may not have specialist knowledge, but wishes you the best, has already had her first experience with psychotherapy and has also interviewed friends for you – both patients and two psychotherapists. ;)

It is also worth mentioning that all texts from the WYprzeżyMY section are subject to substantive verification . This means that every word of mine here has been thoroughly checked by a specialist, so that you can now read calmly, sipping coffee and not wonder whether it is really true (I realize that in the era of fake news this is not so obvious).

See also our text on empathy .

Do I need psychological help at all?

I can't answer this question directly - I don't know your situation. At the same time, I believe that psychotherapy is for everyone, without exception, and it disgusts me terribly that the financial situation of many people is a fundamental obstacle that prevents them from taking care of their own mental health.

So if you don’t have such an obstacle or you can use psychotherapy free of charge (for example under the National Health Fund) – I recommend it to you with all my heart.

You may be afraid to tell your family and friends about psychotherapy - I understand that. Think about it, would you have a similar problem if it was a check-up with a dentist? Why is it normal to check your physical health, but not necessarily your mental health? I think deep down you know that it is not shameful to use the help of a psychotherapist, but to mock someone who needs it.

Another thing: you know you don't have to tell anyone, right? Your health is your own business. You decide who you want to talk to about it.

For me, there was also the issue of guilt. You probably know what I mean. I kept asking myself: am I not exaggerating, are my problems real (after all, others have bigger, "realer" ones), should I not just get a grip on myself and stop making things up? When I shared my doubts with a psychotherapist, she confirmed that they are very common, especially among privileged people (I consider myself a very privileged person). At the same time, she said that if something is bothering me, it means that it exists - period. My feelings are real . There is no such thing as a "false problem", and the fact that someone is in a worse situation than me does not automatically mean that I do not have the right to seek help. I remember that I really needed to hear that at the time.

We invite you to read the article by psychologist Joanna Nogaj aboutmindfulness .

What is it like to work with a psychotherapist?

The psychotherapist, apart from trying to calm the interlocutor, does not provide ready answers – instead, he asks the right questions (a lot of questions!). The patient must reach certain conclusions on her own. Therefore, progress depends largely on your commitment and motivation.

At the same time, you can always count on support , appropriate direction and joint definition of goals . Specialist_tka will help you understand who you are and what mechanisms drive you. Personally, this approach helps me regain a sense of security.

You can talk honestly about everything that's bothering you without any worries - apart from the fact that a psychotherapist is bound by professional secrecy , she must refrain from passing judgment. So if you're ashamed to talk about something for fear that this information could fall into the wrong hands - breathe easy. It's worth mentioning that the professional secrecy mentioned earlier obliges the therapist not to share any information about your health or the course of therapy, even after it ends.

Thanks to psychotherapy, you may find a solution to your problems, and if this turns out to be impossible (which also needs to be taken into account – we are not the only people who have an impact on the reality around us) – you will develop effective ways of dealing with them.

Still wondering?

My therapist could tell you now: I'm not forcing you, but if you feel like you'd like to change something in your life, something's bothering you, but you're not sure how to go about it - make an appointment.

Honestly? I don't know anyone who regrets their decision to go to psychotherapy. I do know some who regret going too late.

Choosing a specialist

If you’re still not sure where to go for the help you need, here’s a little cheat sheet:

• If you are having a mental crisis or have recently experienced an exceptionally stressful situation, you need psychological support . This is a type of crisis intervention. The psychologist's task will be to explain the processes taking place to you, as well as to indicate certain mechanisms behind your actions ( remember that the psychologist will not give you ready-made solutions ). The psychologist's work also involves performing specialist tests, such as personality tests or those concerning professional qualifications, which may affect your personal development.
• If everyday functioning is difficult for you (for example, you suspect depression), see a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and selection of appropriate therapy. Psychiatric treatment may (does not have to) take place in whole or in part in a hospital ward or in a specialist center. In addition, note somewhere that a psychiatrist is the only specialist listed here who can write prescriptions .
• In the case of psychotherapy , be ready for a longer commitment. It is especially recommended for those who have experienced trauma, have problems related to a difficult past or - as I mentioned - would like to change something in their life (even the way they think). Therapy will also be helpful for people with personality disorders and symptoms of mental disorders that make their daily life difficult.

It is important to make the right choice, but do not stress yourself out too much – even if you make a mistake at first, the specialist must refer you to the right person or institution.

The important thing is that you take the first step to help yourself.

Schedule your first visit

There are search engines for female doctors where you can get to know the profiles of female specialists from all over Poland. When choosing, pay attention to the education of the person you are considering and what psychotherapy school they graduated from (or what year they are in). The field they work in and what specific issues they specialize in may also be important. Later, during the first meeting, you can ask (if you are interested, of course) if the sessions are recorded, how the documentation is kept and who supervises them (every psychotherapy work must be supervised).

For me personally, the important thing was the photo (it may be unwise, but I tried to read from it whether we would reach an agreement), the trend, previous experience in working with cases similar to mine and... the use of feminatives . ;)

You can also ask an insider to recommend someone who is reliable. Remember, however, that someone who suits your friend may not necessarily suit you. A recommended psychotherapist may be a highly educated specialist with extensive professional experience, but if you don't feel the chemistry between you, you may not feel like opening up during the consultation, and that simply defeats the purpose. If there is anything you don't like about the psychologist's (or psychologist's) style of work - don't feel guilty about making an appointment with someone else.

How to prepare?

Nowadays, many psychotherapies take place entirely online.

For me personally, this is the best option – I live abroad and at the same time, I do not speak English well enough to be able to precisely put into words everything that is in my head. Additionally, at the time of the first consultation, I was not yet vaccinated against COVID-19 .

For the reasons mentioned above, I have never been to my psychotherapist's office or seen her in person!

Choose the form of meeting that is most convenient for you at a given moment in your life. The cost of one visit, usually lasting from 40 to 60 minutes, ranges from PLN 100 to 200. Sessions usually take place 1 or 2 times a week (the frequency of meetings will be determined together with the psychotherapist). I will not provide any details here, because they depend on the patient's condition, as well as the psychotherapist's style of work. It is best to dispel any doubts at the beginning of the first consultation - you can prepare questions in advance .

What else is worth thinking about in the context of the first visit (and really all subsequent ones too)? Below I have listed a few points for you that seem particularly important to me:

Find a safe space

Believe me, it's really incredibly important. Without a sense of security, you won't be able to open up during the meeting. Find a room where you'll be alone for the entire session. You can connect from your bedroom, kitchen, or even bathroom. It's important that you feel comfortable - both mentally and physically. Think about whether you'll really be comfortable, or if it wouldn't be nicer with a blanket.

Get ready

Charge your phone, mute your social media notifications, unplug your headphones. Pour yourself a glass of water, have a notebook and something to write with. You'll also need tissues so you don't have to blow your nose into your sleeve (I speak from experience!).

Don't focus on the little things

Don't worry about a pimple popping up in the middle of your forehead, your bangs are greasy, or your apartment is a mess that might get caught on camera. For therapist_tka, none of that matters. What matters is your inside, not the condition of your outer shell. ;)

Take it easy

Try to look at psychotherapy as a form of self-care – because isn’t that what it is? At the same time, I understand if you’re nervous before your first visit (I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t). It might help to prepare the answers to a few basic questions in your mind. It’s worth considering why you decided to go to therapy and whether you have any doubts about that decision (and if so, what they are). Also, think about what problems you want to solve and what you expect after the therapy ends.

After your first meeting in a psychologist's office, you will definitely know more - if you've found the right person. If you feel that you haven't - it doesn't matter. Either way, you've already had your first visit, you have a general idea of ​​what to expect in therapy (and that the devil is not as black as he is black!).

A. Cyklińska, Psychologist, psychotherapist or psychiatrist? Who to go to , https://twojpsycholog.pl/blog/psycholog-psychoterapeuta-czy-psychiatra [accessed 03/08/2021].