Can you use tampons if you are a virgin?

What is virginity?

Virginity is different for everyone. Very often we hear definitions such as: " the state before sexual initiation ", " the time before first intercourse " and so on. Okay, but then how do we understand intercourse in general? There are voices that it is the insertion of the penis into the vagina - but what about same-sex couples? What about people practicing petting, which is an equally intimate activity? And oral sex?

Exactly. I also asked my friends about virginity:

P., 29 years old

" Virginity wasn't (and isn't) an important construct for me , but it was for my friends - throughout high school it was the number 1 topic of all our after-school meetings. Once I found the right partner, we didn't make a big deal out of sex. I didn't feel like I was giving him the greatest treasure of my life (lol). I said goodbye to virginity clumsily, but tenderly and without sentimentality."

D., 30 years old

"For me, virginity is the primary state of every human being who has gone through puberty and who has not yet started sexual intercourse."

P., 26 years old

"I believe that virginity does not identify anyone, I have never judged myself or others through its prism. Unfortunately, many people look at it stereotypically and think that being a virgin is something shameful. For me, it is a purely biological issue, which I approach calmly, without the pressure of time and the environment ."

Is losing your virginity a bad thing?

The fact itself – no. The names – yes. “Losing virginity” (or “virtue” – brrr, do you also cringe at that word?) has a decidedly negative connotation. Because look – you can lose a loved one, faith in yourself, hope, savings, a job… Nothing pleasant. It is not without reason that virginity is “lost” in our culture. Purity is praised, and at the moment of its “loss” someone begins to be perceived as incomplete, with a defect, tainted, and even unworthy of respect – and this most often concerns women.

That is why it is so important to normalize women's sexuality, to talk about it as something completely natural and... beautiful. Moreover, it is thanks to conversation and open messages that we can deconstruct the concept of virginity and - consequently - reject the "hymen" in discourse (more on that in a moment!).

You can read more in the article "Let's get rid of virginity! "

Does virginity have anything to do with the hymen*?

The condition of your hymen does not indicate whether you are a virgin or not. And forget the terrifying prospect of having anything in your body torn or pierced – the hymen can be stretched at best, like your muscles or a cat after a long nap.

Firstly, it is actually extremely rare for the membrane to completely block the vaginal opening and require perforation – however, if this is necessary, a consultation with a gynecologist is recommended, because menstrual blood needs to flow out.

Secondly, the hymen in most cases has a "hole" in it from the very beginning . It can take the form of a small, crescent-shaped opening, a larger opening or even several openings of different sizes. It is a very flexible fold of the uterine lining that stretches in various circumstances - for example, during masturbation , but also during a gynecological examination, horse riding or cycling (i.e. situations devoid of any sexual connotation).

My colleague Mika has already told us a bit about the structure and function of the hymen. Check it out: "The hymen, or the hymen in questions and answers" .

* Phew, phew! Not a hymen, but a hymen. Why do I prefer this formulation? Well, because a hymen has nothing to do with virginity, no matter how you understand it . Many people think that the hymen completely covers the entrance to the vagina, and at the moment of sexual initiation (insertion of a penis, finger or dildo) it is torn. However, this is a very brutalized and distorted vision of reality!

Can a tampon pierce the membrane?

It happens that when you insert a tampon into your vagina too quickly or force it by violating (not piercing) the membrane, a small amount of blood and discomfort appear. That is why it is important to do it gradually, with sensitivity and a lot of relaxation. Your body may need time. And that is okay.

So you should be gentle; when you insert a tampon – to allow it to slide in – you are only widening, not piercing the opening at the vaginal opening (or the opening will already be wide enough that stretching won't be necessary at all). That's it.

Which tampons are best for virgins?

We already know that "virgin" is a relative term and, nomen omen, far-fetched :) So are there special tampons for virgins? No, they are not. Tampons available on the market are not adjusted to the condition of someone's hymen, but to the amount of menstruation (you can learn more about choosing the right size tampon HERE ). Therefore, people before sexual initiation should observe their bleeding during the cycle and choosemini, regular or super size tampons based on that .

Also check out our articles: how to remove a tampon and tampon and pee .

What tampon for a virgin?

Mini tampons – perfect for virgins. Why? As I wrote above, the small size means a small risk of hymen damage during the first attempts and greater comfort at the beginning . Such a tampon will only slightly (if at all) stretch the membrane, because it is easier to insert into the vagina.

Choose safe, unscented tampons. Your vagina does not need perfume, only harmless materials that absorb menstrual blood, providing certainty and gentleness. Fragrances can disturb the vagina's pH, cause irritation, infections and allergic reactions. Avoid them by carefully reading the ingredients of the products you buy.

You might come to the conclusion that tampons with applicators are a good idea , especially for virgins and young people – after all, the applicator is supposed to simplify things, right? However, I encourage you to explore your body through direct contact, using your fingers. This will allow you to feel the structure of your vagina, get to know its texture, size, and even smell. Importantly, there is nothing wrong with this; it is a part of the body like any other, and getting used to it will allow you to monitor on an ongoing basis whether everything is OK.

Virginity test

Virgin and tampons? Now you know that one does not conflict with the other. You can safely use them and not worry about your virginity - your hymen does not indicate at all whether you have had sex or not.

It is true that the condition of the hymen is often taken into account when, for example, a person who has been sexually assaulted comes in for a forensic examination. It is also important when a person is tested for their virginity. (Remember the case of rapper TI's daughter? In 2019, it came to light that he regularly took an 18-year-old to the gynecologist to check her hymen; sic! ) According to research by the Forensic Medicine Unit at London's St George's Hospital Medical School, however, this is not a clear indicator. Quite the opposite; very often such tests are laced with gender prejudice, lack of knowledge, and patriarchal attitudes towards women .

And you can learn even more about tampons in our articles: How Long to Keep a Tampon in? and Why Does a Tampon Leak?

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